The Prodigal Drinkers

While we normally note the inconvenience of having Wall Street Journal articles available to subscribers only, hiding its Unionist-friendly op-ed page from our vast readership, our first reaction upon seeing this story was to be glad that they were hiding such blasphemy:

To Mark St. Patrick's Day, We Test a Range of Stouts (But None From Ireland)

What follows is a description of stout/porter tasting in London with no Irish blackstuff featured. They even rounded up a couple of Irish people to participate. Things end happily however, as it seems that the thought of Guinness and its Irish competitors was dominating the proceedings even with no actual imbibing:

Titanic Stout, from the Titanic Brewery in Stoke on Trent, was one of those that fared badly with our panel. While the aroma enticed, the taste didn't match. "It tastes like molasses or black treacle," Christina said. Our novice, Marianne [Limerick], was particularly perturbed, saying it tasted like "hair dye." Alan chipped in, "It's like rotting wet grass." ...

Iceni Honey Stout, from Iceni Brewery in Norfolk, also had the panel itching for a Guinness. The stout was light-bodied with a tart lemon taste, lacking any sweeter honey overtones. "It's brutal," Mike [Kerry] said ...

My own personal disappointment, which led to the realization that some chilling might have been desirable, was Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout from Samuel Smith Old Brewery in Yorkshire. This has become one of my favorite stouts, although I often find it is served too cold in pubs. Yet at room temperature, much of the typically rich, smooth taste imbued by the oats was lost. Others in the group were more forgiving ... But it still didn't beat Guinness, in their view.

But a handful did manage to stand up to Guinness -- offering delicious hints of coffee, chocolate and toffee, along with the right measure of bitterness. Dorothy Goodbody's Wholesome Stout from the Wye Valley Brewery in Herefordshire met with near-unanimous approval ...

Mike and Marianne chose Young's Double Chocolate Stout from London-based Young & Co. Brewery as their favorite ....

The winner ... was St. Peter's Cream Stout from St. Peter's Brewery in Suffolk. This stout packed a punch. While most of the other stouts had an alcohol level of 4.5% to 5.5%, St. Peter's clocked in at 6.5% ... We tasted coffee and chocolate notes, as well as hints of molasses and yeast.

BUT overall, we found our group of stouts lacking when compared to the old standby, Guinness

Indeed. And if one is having to look for chocolate or coffee flavours to enjoy stout in the first place, it might be time to switch to alcopops. Or Starbucks coffee liqueur. Anyway, with Guinness in effect winning the contest without even having to show up, we conclude that Diageo's relative indifference to Guinness (which hasn't quite saved us from atrocities like Surger and Guinness Extra Cold) might be enough to help it continue rule the roost.