Dublin

Yes, it's St Patrick's Day, but who would know on what day it actually falls with it now being marketed as an Oirish week-long "festival." And to mark the occasion, the high-class end of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy -- the print editorial page of the Wall Street Journal -- provides us with a "humour" piece with an Irish theme. It's by someone named Patrick Cooke, whose VRWC credentials seem to be impeccable -- executive editor of Forbes FYI, not coincidentally related to Steve Forbes, major bankroller of the VRWC. And based on this piece, he's also contender for the title of Ard Ri of Comedy.

It's vaguely weather-related so, warning: there's a 30 percent chance of laughter upon reading it. Which requires subscription and there's no point in disseminating its crashing unfunniness any further, so we'll provide the er...highlights. It's built around an alleged scientific finding that the Irish shoreline is shrinking and so at some point in the distant future the island will be submerged completely. Cooke's only real goal as the projected timeline of laughs piles up is to get in some slams at the UN (which sets up a committee to investigate the problem) and the Irish Times e.g.
23672 A.D. -- The Irish Times publishes its final edition. Headline: U.N. REPORT DELAYED. Forecast: Showers.

29089 A.D. -- Yer man Michael Francis X. Fitzdavin Dooley, the last Irishman, rests atop the summit of Mt. Carrauntoohil (at one time the highest mountain in Ireland) sipping a final pint in the moonlight as waves lap gently at his wellies. Proving once and for all that there is no limit to Irish pessimism, the one-time Kerryman concludes that the country's going straight to hell.

The VRWC -- it's not just for wars anymore.