Thursday, September 12, 2013

George W. Bush: An Apology

The following text and variations thereof will soon be appearing in the pages of the New York Times, Washington Post, Foreign Policy magazine, websites of international relations think-tanks etc. With acknowledgement for the style to Private Eye.

Corrections and Amplifications

We would like to correct a major misperception that has arisen over our assessment of the foreign policy performance of George W. Bush and Barack Obama. Regarding Mr Bush, our use of phrases such as "blithering idiot," "clown," "dolt" and "not fit even to be extricating San Diego college students from the drunk tank in Tijuana" may have given the impression that we had unfavorable views of Mr Bush. Correspondingly for Mr Obama, phrases such as "the Metternich of our time," "world peace is now at hand" and "he'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony" may have led readers to believe that we rated Mr Obama highly. In view of recent events, we now realize that what we meant to say was that Mr Bush's occasional verbal slips were merely masterful distractions that allowed him to get what he wanted, while Mr Obama's seemingly refined academic musings clearly merit not much more than an adjunct position at Faber College. 

We regret any confusion that our poor choice of words may have caused.