And now for something completely different

To give everyone a break from the Reagan coverage, we are pleased to announce that due to our excellent sources in Washington DC, we have been given access to a key document which initiated a diplomatic scam perpetrated on a gullible diplomacy "newbie." Due to embarrassment, the scam's victim is remaining anonymous but the CIA is confident that there is enough identifying information in the document that, with a few weeks work, their analysts can track him or her down. Here is the document:

JANUARY 2002
WASHINGTON, DC USA

ATTENTION: THE SECRETARY OF STATE

DEAR SIR,

CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM THE SON OF THE FORMER RULER OF MY COUNTRY, GEORGE H.W. BUSH. HAVING CONSULTED WITH MY COLLEAGUES AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE PROJECT FOR A NEW AMERICAN CENTURY, I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER A SUBSTANTIAL SUM OF CREDIBILITY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. THE ABOVE SUM RESULTED FROM AN OVER-INVOICED CONTRACT, EXECUTED COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR OVER THE LAST TWO HUNDRED YEARS (200) AGO BY THE USA. THIS ACTION, RESULTING FROM WINNING TWO WORLD WARS, WAS HOWEVER INTENTIONAL AND SINCE THEN THE FUND HAS BEEN IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT AT THE UNITED NATIONS AND AMONGST POLICYMAKERS WORLDWIDE.

WE ARE NOW READY TO TRANSFER THE FUND TO A NEW PROJECT IN IRAQ AND THAT IS WHERE YOU COME IN. IT IS IMPORTANT TO INFORM YOU THAT AS SOMEONE WITH A COWBOY IMAGE, I AM FORBIDDEN TO OPERATE THIS CREDIBILITY ACCOUNT MYSELF; THAT IS WHY WE REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE. THE TOTAL SUM WILL BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: 70% FOR US, 25% FOR YOU AND 5% FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER.

THE TRANSFER IS RISK FREE ON BOTH SIDES. I AM IN A POSITION TO GIVE YOU DIRECTIVE ON WHO TO CONTACT IN MY COUNTRY FOR THE PROCUREMENT. IF YOU FIND THIS PROPOSAL ACCEPTABLE, WE SHALL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:

(A) A SPEECH MAKING CLAIMS ABOUT MOBILE WEAPONS LABS, AND OTHER WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION.

(B) ONE (1) EMPTY ANTHRAX VIAL - FOR PUBLICITY AND EASY COMMUNICATION.

(C) YOUR VOICE AND VISAGE, FOR USES TO BE DETERMINED BY US.

ALTERNATIVELY WE WILL FURNISH YOU WITH THE TEXT OF WHAT TO TYPE INTO YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER, ALONG WITH A BREAKDOWN EXPLAINING, COMPREHENSIVELY WHAT WE REQUIRE OF YOU. THE BUSINESS WILL TAKE US FIFTEEN (15) WORKING MONTHS TO ACCOMPLISH.

PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.

BEST REGARDS
GEORGE W. BUSH