Comedy that writes itself

Amid disguising the Iraq troop surge in the Gerald Ford death, the White House finds time to suggest new occupations for Tom DeLay, Mark Foley, Duke Cunningham, Rick Santorum, and all the other departing and/or incarcerated Republican Congressmen --

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim January 2007 as National Mentoring Month. I call upon the people of the United States to recognize the importance of mentoring, to look for opportunities to serve as mentors in their communities, and to observe this month with appropriate activities and programs.