For better or for worse

Welcome to a new feature here at BOBW, which delves into the delightful cultural differences between the U.S. and Ireland. Or something like that. What we hope to do is offer readers an easy-to-use guide to various aspects of life at home and abroad, regardless of where said home happens to be. (In most cases, you can substitute the U.K. for Shamrockshire and get the same result.)

Let's start with an easy one:

ICE CREAM NOVELTIES.

BETTER in Ireland, due mostly to the use of sugar, not corn syrup. Europe may be the land of subsidies, but it's not the land of sugar industry protectionist quotas. (We recommend the mini m and m's chipwich, which you can buy in each country so you can do your own taste test.)

MUSIC VIDEOS.

BETTER in Ireland. This is an interesting one. In the U.S., sure, we can easily keep up with hip-hop on our various MTVs. But if we may let's introduce you to VH2, which runs a steady diet of Pixies, Smiths, and Stone Roses--sort of like what it would be like if BOBW had a music video show. Even MTV Deux--a favorite in the U.S.--is better abroad, thanks to a greater devotion to pure rock and lesser reliance on commercials.

SPECIALTY COFFEE BEVERAGES.

A TIE. Yes, it's true, without a green Starbucks awning in sight, even rural Ireland has managed to set up an espresso machine or two. God love 'em.

TELEVISION

WORSE in Ireland. Whereas a year ago we might have given this one to the old country, with the advent of BBC America, the balances have tipped in favor of the New World. Add to that the Islands' 24-hour Big Brother channel; the practice on UK channels of speeding up the tape on certain American one-hour shows (which makes the soulless Angel sound more like a superwimp than a superbaddy) ; and such astonishing fare as ITV's Dirtbusters, which on a recent evening treated us to closeups of dog poo (in different shades and shapes, to be fair), a squirrel in a gutter in Oldham,  plus some backed-up sewage in Liverpool that locals likened to Mulligatawny soup. 

PRINT JOURNALISM.

WORSE in Ireland, with the following exceptions:

1. Curly Wee. A reason to buy the Indo, even (or because?) if they're only rerunning old ones from the 1940s.
2. The London Times Saturday and Sunday supplements, esp. Style. Brilliant!
3. The upscale tabs. By which we mean OK! and Hello!--and the Tatler. We particularly enjoy not having an idea about who most of these "celebrities" are....

MORE TO COME. Feel free to send us inquiries if there are specific areas you want compared.