Bend the truth like Beckham

It would appear that the relentlessness of Manchester United in winning domestic championships has now been extended to their ability to generate favourable publicity in the US media. For following on the heels of the Washington Post tribute, there comes an article in Friday's USA Today about David Beckham. Some parts of this article are just plain weird. We're not sure what to make of the discussion of him being "an idol of gays, teens and mothers alike. And gorgeous, to boot." Speak for yourself.

For now let's focus instead on something the article has in common with the Post piece: being only dimly aware of the existence of the world's most famous football club, Real Madrid. We think there's a simple explanation for this -- for many US media outlets, covering any international story means covering stories in or about England -- it's easy, and a nice trip for the journalist. But it's going to leave you pretty poorly briefed if you try and flog this stuff in those rather significant parts of the world where English is not the first language. We ask you to picture the blank stares you would get in Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, or Turin if you held forth on how Manchester United was the world's best club.

In fact, more inquisitive readers should have had the sense that something just doesn't add up in these articles. It's mentioned that Becks is the biggest star on the best club, but, by the way, there's a rumour he might leave for Real although Real say that they are not interested. So wait a minute: if he's on the best club, why would he want to leave, and if he's such a great player, why would a lesser club like Real not be interested? The truth: Real are a better club with so much talent that Becks would spend much of his time on the bench, if the deal ever went through. There was no better symbol of the gulf in talent than the champions league tie between the two clubs, the one where Becks did score two goals. This was a game that Real didn't need to win, posessing a two goal aggregate lead and a tiebreaker. They were without one of their stars, the fabulous Raul, and the manager basically decided not to bother playing a defence. And they still put on a show. P O'Neill watched this game and after one of their goals, a spectacular individual effort from Ronaldo, one could see the looks on the faces of the MU fans: it was the same look as on Princess Leia's face when the Death Star destroyed Alderaan.

Let's finish with another weird line from the USAT piece, supplied by Liverpool and Ireland old boy Mark Lawrenson, who really should know better:

"He's just got this amazing universal appeal," BBC pundit Lawrenson says. "The men all want to be him, and the women all want to either shag him or be his mum-in-law."

We're still trying to get our minds around both clauses of that sentence.

UPDATE: At the New York Times, they have a soccer reporter who, like, knows something about soccer! The opening line from an article in Sunday's sports section:
MADRID, May 10 — It was chilly and overcast on Thursday as fans lined up to buy tickets to watch the world's best club soccer team, but the unseasonable weather did little to darken their mood as they hurried down the hill with Zinedine Zidane, Raúl and Ronaldo on their minds.

However, Real will have to wait till next year for the tenth trophy.