Because al Qaeda is really strong in the North Pole

Dubya in Alaska, opening an ill-tempered campaign-style speech while wearing a preposterously puffed-up military jacket:

Laura and I were in the neighborhood - (laughter) -- we thought we'd come by to say hello to the nation's "Arctic Warriors." (Applause.) We're proud to stand with the courageous airmen of Elmendorf Air Force Base, the soldiers of Fort Richardson, the Coast Guard -- (applause) -- the Coast Guard men and women here in Alaska -- (applause) -- the men and women of the Alaskan Command, and all those who wear the uniform of our country. (Applause.)

... Here at Elmendorf Air Force Base, you're defending our nation's frontiers ...

... I want to thank Senator Lisa Murkowski for flying all the way from Washington today to make sure she was here to see her fellow Alaskans, as well as to be with the President. It means a lot to me. I don't know if you know this or not, but after this speech, she said, make sure you keep it short because she's got to fly back to Washington this evening to make important votes for the people of Alaska. Lisa, thank you for your service. (Applause.) She's doing a fine job. And I see she brought her parents with her.

Well, her parents are indeed important, seeing as how she inherited the Senate seat from her father, which comes in handy when voting for pork-barrel projects financed by taxpayers for a state awash in oil revenues and useless military bases. And those parents -- the Governor and First Lady of Alaska, Mr and Mrs Frank Murkowski. Jobs for everyone is apparently what the Republicans mean by family values.

And while Dubya is mostly giving the same speech each time, he seems to add a new lie with each one:

Iraq was the only country that had used chemical weapons on its own people, invaded its neighbors, and fought a war against the United States and a great coalition.

So what was that business in Yugoslavia about, then? Especially the bit that was opposed by George W. Bush? ---

2000 Bush-Gore debate: The vice president and I have a disagreement about the use of troops. He believes in nation-building. I would be very careful about using our troops as nation builders.

Morale in today's military is too low ... Some of our troops are not well-equipped. I believe we're overextended in too many places.

The most benign interpretation of this statement would be that the country did get the policies of, but not the person, who got the most votes in the 2000 election.